6

I saw you again last night.
We talked for a while.
You asked me how I've been. What I've been up to.
I wondered where you'd been.
I bothered you with questions about love & happiness.
We never touched.
We did not have to for me to know it was real.
For me to know it was not a dream.
Because you are not a dream.
My dream.
Because you are not a fantasy.
My fantasy.
You were never a dream.
Because dreams have happy endings.
And fantasies are wishful, fairy tales.
We were never a dream.
But I know I saw you last night,
We spoke. I felt.
     It must have been a nightmare.

5.

I can't even hear the rain.
My thoughts are too loud.

4.

You pushed me aside.
I was forgotten.
We never spoke of it again.
Of the life that once was.
You pushed me aside.
You forgot me.
And I moved on. Life moved on. The world moved on.
But my heart got stuck.
I'd call it heartache- but not over you, my old lost lover.
Over the life that once was
True sorrow I felt,
     a little confusion
     a lot of anger
     moments of doubt.
But you were not around.
Because you pushed me aside.
But now it maybe time to forget,
     about you
     and the life that once was.

3.

I always try and trick myself into thinking that it is going to be different.
But it's always just a different shade of the same color.
My actions are on repeat and my feelings, which are usually disappointment or rage, always follow closely behind.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again,
And expecting a different result.
Does this make me insane?
Or does it simply make me hopeful?

2.

The monster that I am is revealed
To you.
To the World I am naked.
I have stripped myself of scars, of skin, of emotion, of self...of life.
I am hollow.
So no one can love me.
But you,
You see into me.
You see what I am.
     What I was.
And you still want me.
And you take me, hold me, adore me.
For all that I am
     And all that I was
And for that, I can only be one thing...
Grateful.

1.

"I myself am entirely made up of  flaws stitched together with good intentions."